COMMENTARY: A short essay about crapola

Having worked at — or covered — the State Capitol since the age of 23, I thought I had seen it all.

I’ve survived education reform, numerous constitutional crisis and tons of political campaigns.

I’ve seen good lawmakers — on both sides — get beat up for doing the right thing and I’ve watched charlatans achieve great success because they didn’t care what it took to get them there.

I also watched people become blinded by ideology, all while incredible problems grow and fester around them.

And now, it’s February.

The legislature hath returned.

And crapola doth flow.

Keep in mind that we live in a state which redefines poverty; we work in an area where one-in-four children go to bed hungry each night.

We are a national leader in divorces.

In the area which surrounds the Capitol building — Zip Code 73105 — more infants died than anyplace else in the nation.

More than 800,000 Oklahomans can’t read.

The facts go on and on and on.

Enter state Senator Brian Crain, who believes he has a wonderful idea that will improve life here in the Sooner State.

Is Crain going to address any of the problems I just mentioned?

No.

Is he going to work to make quality, inexpensive health care available to the rest of the state? Is he going to try and reduce crime?

No.

Improve education?

No.

Senator Crain wants to “better protect Oklahoma workers.”

Good for him.

So, our Tulsa Republican has offered legislation which makes it illegal for companies to require implanted microchips as a condition of employment.

Huh?

Okay, let’s try that again.

Crain’s, Senate Bill 47 — which, by the way, was approved by the senate’s Health and Human Resources Committee recently — would prevent companies from forcing employees to get microchips, also known as Radio Frequency Identification, or RFID devices embedded in their bodies.

A company who didn’t play by the RFID rules could face a fine of up to $10,000.

Now, I have to be honest: I didn’t realize micro-chipping had become a problem here in the land of Red Dirt.

I know we don’t use ’em at The American or The Transcript.

(Of course I’m not sure about television).

Still it seems a little strange to me that the august Senator is more worried about RFIDs than he is about education, poverty and other issues which still — despite more than 50 legislatures’ work — have yet to really be solved.

Jeeze.

Also, remember that Senator Crain pledged in his campaign to focus on the fundamentals of state government; education, transportation, and small business development.

“Achievement in these areas is essential in making Oklahoma the best state in the nation to work, to live and to raise a family,” he says on the Senate’s Web site.

OK, Senator, for the record: RFID ain’t fundamental to state government. Funny, I didn’t know there’d been a rash of forced micro-chipping in the state. A quick call to a diverse group of business leaders in Moore showed that none of their HR departments had any such plans brewing; in fact, they were kinda surprised by the fact that someone was worried about such an issue.

Now, to be fair, Crain acknowledges that his proposal “might sound like science fiction” but adds that “the truth is the technology to implant microchips to track people is real, and it is being heavily marketed right now.”

Sorry, I just don’t believe that, either.

I have yet to see such a TV ad. And I know for certain, that our newspaper has carried no micro-chip ads. Now, if you want to talk about chocolate chips, well, that’s fodder for another column.

Crain said he “…just wants to ensure that this will not become a mandatory condition of employment in Oklahoma.”

I’m glad the good Senator has my back, or my brain, so to speak.

So, I’m going to offer him this advice: Stop reading the Left Behind novels, or trying to reinterpret the Book of Revelation. Get off your butt and get out of your office. Take a long walk around Tulsa once in a while. Talk to people. Go hang out in a public school for the day. Try to understand their problems. Do something to help address the REAL issues our state faces.

And stop filing crapola like Senate Bill 47.

I’m sorry Senator, but you should be ashamed.

I expect more from a member of the Legislature — especially one from such a noble city as Tulsa.

And for everyone else, don’t worry about being stamped with the “666” or having your brain micro-chipped. Instead worry about lawmakers who are so focused on the fear of tomorrow that they forget the problems of today